Helpful Mom

Has this ever happened to you?  My daughter says I’m hungry.  So you start pulling everything out of the diaper bag one at a time to which she says no, no, no to each one.  Then you have the whining and fussing as you try to explain that is all there really is, as if you are hiding the good stuff somewhere.  So one day I decided on this quick easy fix.  I bought a lunch box that I keep in our diaper bag.  Each morning before we go out I make sure it’s packed with about three different healthy choices, like a baggy of cereal, grapes, and apple slices.  Then when she asks for food I can just hand her the lunch box and she can pick out whatever she likes.  It gives her healthy, non-messy options, and lets her exercise her ability to choose for herself.  And it ended that debate about if there was anything else, now she can plainly see that all her choices are right there to pick from.

And we keep the treats separately in the diaper bag.  They only get any kind of treat if they have finished a serving of food.  So if she finishes the cereal she would get a Kellog’s fruit snack.  Or they might get a lollipop.  It works really well!  The other day I took Katrina shopping and she’d asked for a sucker and I told her she could have one and we’d get one for her sister too who wasn’t with us, but that she’d have to wait til we’d paid for it and got in the car to eat it.  So she agreed, but when we went out to the car she spotted her bag of cereal she’d started before going into the store and she gave me her sucker back!  Saying she had to finish her cereal first.  I was stunned and amazed.  And what’s funny is I’ve had her do that again since then!  It’s one of those small victories that you have to step back and appreciate.  Realizing that they are learning even when sometimes it doesn’t feel like it.

I used to feel guilty about rewarding eating with treats but then I read this great book called Creative Correction which said that even God used rewards and incentives with the Israelites.  He would say if you obey your parents you will have a long life, or if you follow me I will take you into the promised land.  So if even God offers incentives to His children then why can’t I.  And I recently heard Dr. James Dobson say that the whole world is operated by incentives and rewards.  You go to work and get a paycheck.  Noone is going to work if they aren’t receiving something in return.  So there is nothing wrong with offering reasonable rewards or incentives.  I’m not saying go crazy buying them stuff but there’s no reason to feel guilty about rewarding your child.  It works, my kids know not to ask for treats all the time because they know the answer is no.  And they are learning that it’s important to eat the healthy things first, if you aren’t hungry enough to finish the good stuff then you certainly don’t have room for a lollipop, and learning what foods are good for you and what things are just not.