Helpful Mom

I was reading in one of my magazines an article about how we should set an example to our children of going to vote and how if you vote they are more likely to as well.  But the way the story began really reminded me of how our children are watching everything we DO even more than what we say, and how we have to be so very careful to make sure our actions match our words.  In it it had this poem by a nun that was given to the author when her baby was born:

“Be careful where you go, young man, be careful what you do.  Two little eyes are watching you now- Two little feet will be following you.”

Isn’t that the truth, no matter where you are no matter what you are doing your kids are sure to find you and want to do it with you.  One day I was dropping my girls off at my moms for the day and Katrina really didn’t want to be left behind, so in an effort to make her not want to come with me I told her she didn’t want to join me because I’d be scrubbing the floors and ceilings.  And she says I want to help you!

The article goes on to say that some of this is obvious but when you’re so focused on giving the essentials-food, love, basic hygiene-it’s easy to overlook that those little eyes soak up so much more from you too.  Things you might not even be aware you’re transmitting.  Like how family members treat one another, and whether respect and affection are part of those interactions even when you are sleep deprived or stressed.  How strangers are treated.  How often please and thank you punctuate the day.  Or even whether you come to a full stop at a stop sign.

The kids might look oblivious, but they are watching.  It’s enough to make a mom self-conscious(which is probably a good thing).  Last spring we had a mom come share at our group about teaching your children manners.  And what she shared wasn’t what you might have expected about sitting them and teaching them here’s what you do in this situation or that one, but is was more about how we should be setting that example.  Instead of saying(or yelling) “eat your food”  we should ask them politely, “Please eat your food”.  Or can you please pick up your cup for mommy, instead of give me your cup.  It’s easy to forget that just because you are in charge it doesn’t mean you get to be bossy, instead we should be modeling the behaviour that we want them to inherit.  Which right now it’s self control and patience, which is being worked into mommy and child.  If they see you fly off the handle how can we expect any more from them?